I wrote these at work maybe possibly

1.

Lay me down

Throw me around

With every little word you say

And every which way

You whisper my name

Oh how you think I’ve become tame

A sleeping lion

For which you rest your head on

I’ll wait

Oh how I’ll wait

Its a matter of time before I pounce

And my name you’ll shout

Again

Again

And again

2.

My thoughts are far off

My thoughts are just not enough

I’m running on lost time

I can’t seem to make up my mind

I’m trying

I’m fucking trying

But I’m not enough for myself

And I can’t seem to save myself

No matter what I do I can’t forget

Each and every single bit

Of my scorched insides

From my stomach to my veins

I’m suffocating underneath it all

Looking for myself after the fall

I’ll dance before I die

If its me or my

It’ll still be I

3.

I stare at you like I stare at the night sky.

I can’t seem to comprehend how so much exists before me.

Its nerve racking.  Its just really fucking nerve racking.

To look at the night sky and see each and every star.

Your the sky, a force of nature, a daily earthquake that knocks me over.

And I got nothing to stand on anymore.

 

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Selfish

I already know

I really really do

I wish I didn’t

I couldn’t get rid of it

Even if I wanted

Even if I was taunted

Even if I knew how

I’m just a man short of his vow

A man short of words

A man torn by petty little birds

Pushing a rock up a hill is so cliche

If I may

I’d tell you all my secrets and still petty little lies

I would even comply

To every wish

I know know you’ll think I’ll miss

I’m just having this sad realization that I’m not enough

That I won’t ever be enough

I lied about the food

I lied about the mood

I lied about the drinks

I just thought every little thing you did was beyond it

I hate this part of me

Its trapped inside of me

I think I’ll throw it away

Maybe I’ll pick it up again another day

I’ll enjoy this empty space

My life isn’t a race

Its the setting sun

And the sound of foot steps under the moon

I’m the sound of screaming in my car

I’m the best at thinking things way too far

I’m a bored idiot with too much time

A simpleton who can’t even make every word rhyme

I know I love me

And we both know you don’t feel the same

 

 

 

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This Night

Please don’t love me

Please don’t leave me

Set fire to my broken pieces

My waters are receding

On my last dying breath

For the hundredth

If not thousandth time

I’m running running out of simple little words that rhyme

But when I think of you all I see is back of my eyelids

Nothing comes to mind and nothing springs from my ribs

I’m a burning man

Who’s lost somewhere beneath the land

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I Fell Asleep

I saw you once in a daydream

Thats it

Thats the whole story

I saw you once and now I can’t stop thinking about you

No matter how many different thoughts I have

They all lead back

To that pointless little daydream

 

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Stupid Words Like Forgotten

I knew you when

And I knew you again

We said it wouldn’t end

But here we are again and again

Telling the same story

As we continually say sorry

As if everything will be ok

When we say

All those little words quietly in the night

Knowing they won’t make everything alright

But they’ll pass the time

And they’ll ease the mind

I’ll be here

If you’ll be here

And when were away

I’ll still wait every day

Because life is constantly falling apart

And sometimes all you have to do is go back and restart

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I Miss This

I saw you in the fabric of my mattress

A light shining and refusing to give me rest

Eyes closed tight

I know I know you’re always right

But for today I wish everything was wrong

And you would be where you belong

But that is a pipe dream

Something I should of foreseen

Like the cut on my arm

Or that last little bit of karma

As my wheels fall off my car

And I fall into another bar

Trying forget

Pitying hard on my regret

I’m a horrible person

Who is without reason

 

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I Miss Summer

I was once as young as the scrapes on my knees

And as naive as the summer breeze

Thinking my days would never end

That I would stay forever young and never have to fend

For myself or any other

My life would never be a bother

All I would see

And all I would be

Is just another loved craze child of the sun

Grabbing at every bit of late night fun

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Constant Nonsense

I feel like the blue sky

The stars and the moon

Clairvoyance is the word I’m looking for

This bit of like I can’t control or put into half formed words

I’ve accepted this hot stove and burns on my hands

I’m still going to touch

I’m still in a rush

God, its going to hurt isn’t it

What can I even do to change

Do I want to change

Should I change

How many more times can I say “change”

I can see it right in front of me

But I’m still scared out of my mind

They say I’m overreacting

But they don’t know every bit of my heart

From my deepest depths

And to the tips of my fingers that can almost touch the sky

I feel with every fiber of my being that this is my happiness

And its standing just out of my reach

Like the last bit of air before my lungs give out

The last few raindrops before my body falls apart

I feel as if the sky is just an arms reach away from me

So close I can touch it

And every time it walks away I realize how happy I’ll truly never be

And the sadness is deafening

As loud as the rain

And as loud as the hands against my ears

I fear running out of air

The world is a desert

And you are simply an oasis

You do not save

But you are far greater then the rest of existence

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God Damit

I’ve made a mistake in my life.  It all started by looking at you

I fell, I fell so fucking hard.  I fell till all I could see was the color blue.

I regret this pain at 3 AM.  I regret your face when I close my eyes.

I wish I could stop. I wish I could forget.  I wish I could tell a single lie.

But when you smile I make the first of a million mistakes.  I breathe my last breath.

I could easily run.  I could easily hide.  But sadly I’m not the best.

I keep my hands in my pocket because I don’t know what to say.

You keep talking but I keep looking away.

You see, I’m deathly afraid of you.

Because when you’re here I can’t hide what’s simply true.

Those three fucking stupid little words that sound a lot like “I hate you”.

 

 

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Roller Coaster

The worst feeling in the world is wishing you were here

Knowing if your time was free

You would be standing right next to me

I saw you the other day

Sitting on the bench with yours jeans in fray

And the umbrella keeping all that rain at bay

What does it take to save

Even though all my bills go unpaid

If I speak up will I be hated

When is my love too much

When every word isn’t enough

I bled, I died, it was fucking tough

But I was sitting on the same bench as you

When I realized words so true

That the world just wasn’t enough for you

And all I had was a pocket full of change

That would no longer bring me change

What pains me the most

Are the word that sound like almost

And you were so close

I can’t write what’s hidden in me

Because once its free

I’ll be empty

And I’ll have nothing left to fill the hole but the bits and pieces of me

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