Constant Nonsense

I feel like the blue sky

The stars and the moon

Clairvoyance is the word I’m looking for

This bit of like I can’t control or put into half formed words

I’ve accepted this hot stove and burns on my hands

I’m still going to touch

I’m still in a rush

God, its going to hurt isn’t it

What can I even do to change

Do I want to change

Should I change

How many more times can I say “change”

I can see it right in front of me

But I’m still scared out of my mind

They say I’m overreacting

But they don’t know every bit of my heart

From my deepest depths

And to the tips of my fingers that can almost touch the sky

I feel with every fiber of my being that this is my happiness

And its standing just out of my reach

Like the last bit of air before my lungs give out

The last few raindrops before my body falls apart

I feel as if the sky is just an arms reach away from me

So close I can touch it

And every time it walks away I realize how happy I’ll truly never be

And the sadness is deafening

As loud as the rain

And as loud as the hands against my ears

I fear running out of air

The world is a desert

And you are simply an oasis

You do not save

But you are far greater then the rest of existence

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God Damit

I’ve made a mistake in my life.  It all started by looking at you

I fell, I fell so fucking hard.  I fell till all I could see was the color blue.

I regret this pain at 3 AM.  I regret your face when I close my eyes.

I wish I could stop. I wish I could forget.  I wish I could tell a single lie.

But when you smile I make the first of a million mistakes.  I breathe my last breath.

I could easily run.  I could easily hide.  But sadly I’m not the best.

I keep my hands in my pocket because I don’t know what to say.

You keep talking but I keep looking away.

You see, I’m deathly afraid of you.

Because when you’re here I can’t hide what’s simply true.

Those three fucking stupid little words that sound a lot like “I hate you”.

 

 

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Roller Coaster

The worst feeling in the world is wishing you were here

Knowing if your time was free

You would be standing right next to me

I saw you the other day

Sitting on the bench with yours jeans in fray

And the umbrella keeping all that rain at bay

What does it take to save

Even though all my bills go unpaid

If I speak up will I be hated

When is my love too much

When every word isn’t enough

I bled, I died, it was fucking tough

But I was sitting on the same bench as you

When I realized words so true

That the world just wasn’t enough for you

And all I had was a pocket full of change

That would no longer bring me change

What pains me the most

Are the word that sound like almost

And you were so close

I can’t write what’s hidden in me

Because once its free

I’ll be empty

And I’ll have nothing left to fill the hole but the bits and pieces of me

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Written In Birch

I saw you carving my name with your hair blowing in the breeze

While you sat under the birch tree

Trying to scribble all those little letters

Hoping it would make us better

Etching hearts with rocks and sticks

Till we find someone with initials we can pick

KR

PM

CD

And all those people in between

I want to stay the same

Like the bark that has my name

Shout up to the sky

I’ll never say goodbye

Because you wrote every little lie on my heart

Swearing we would never part

Like are names on this tree

Till I rip its bark free

And burn every piece of it on the ground

Knowing you’ll never make a whisper, not even a sound

My love was simply enough

For someone who I couldn’t trust

 

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I Woke Up While Sleeping

My world has grown soft

Ever living tenderness with each touch

The long reaching light of the sun

Dangling my joy over your skin and my eyes seem to weigh a ton

As I watch

As I see what I can’t catch

Love is love

And this view from above

Is more perfect then the circle I’m tracing on her arm

No matter the pain, no mater the fire, there can be no harm

With losing yourself a little in another

Let me take one more sip of another

Bit of you before you go

I’ll grip close this feeling I barely know

Write your name on my neck

And I’ll be on your beck

And call

Giving you my everything, my all

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The Moon Saw The Sun

I hide you in my heart

Because I can’t see you, its my secret part

I whisper to myself

So only you can hear me but I’m still talking to myself

This is dark, its my shadow

I’m sorry but you make me feel like flowers in a meadow

How the stars in the sky go

When the moon is gone but still stands the sun in motion

I am delighted to say I am a man who can smile

When the sun takes all he possesses and burns around him a solid mile

Each time like the moon after daybreak

I see the sun and my heart just aches

I am but a reflection of your happiness

And your sun has covered up my stars leaving all this emptiness

Really just forgotten

Because the sun has gotten

My night sky

And turned it to day before I could give way and say bye

Just another flower in the meadow

Watching the sun let go

Of the last bit of night

My moon is the first to go but that’s alright

I saw a glimpse of day

Now the sun is on my mind and forever it will stay

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I Broke Myself To Oblivion

I saw you in the blue skies of my youth.

Dancing barefoot in the wet morning grass.

How brash.

How practically insane.

My summer sonnet was a ghost that would scream in joy.

Breaking the clouds to bring the sun.

Picking up the rain and putting it away for now.

I saw you last night.

Singing a different song.

About a faraway place.

I know its not the same.

But I want to bring you the moon and stars.

So I can pretend to share in something I never will.

Is it a shame.

To just sit and watch.

I’m sorry but you bring a smile to my face.

This backyard will never be the same.

Because of all the dirt I shoveled away.

For the first time in years.

I find myself peaking out of my backyard hole.

Listening to the sound of singing.

And the constant pestering of questions.

As to why I’m digging a hole.

And who am I.

I like to think of myself as a reverse Noah.

I’m waiting for the flooding.

 

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I Saw You In A Dream And Now I Can’t Sleep

I saw the daylight breaking through the cracks of you.

The stretching arm and painted shadows of your silhouette against the room I only knew.

I remember your face and how it slept late into the night.

When you woke and saw me you asked if I was alright.

I replied in silence and a smile.

You simply closed your eyes because you knew I would still take awhile.

My dreams are empty.

Just like your heart when you look at me.

I know I’ve been stupid and off putting.

But every now and then I hear your phone ringing.

And I know its not me.

And I know you know its not me.

We just stare at each other.

Wondering when will get over each other.

If not tonight.

If this bare skin doesn’t make it alright.

Will fall apart.

At the seams that make up my heart.

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Frank Ocean Channel Orange 3 years later

Intro etc:

I love Frank Ocean mostly for his lyrics and the way he crafts those lyrics around his voice.  He has a very unique sound of a soft voice with loud words.  It screams to me every time I hear one of his songs.  This was his coming out album.  He became famous off a fucking mixtape but this was his first album.  Its beautiful.

P.S this is going to suck because I always get super excited during these and start typing like “BEST SONG EVER OMFG”.

1. Start

Basically a video game load up short to begin the album.

2. Thinkin Bout You

The oasis of the album.  The first bit of water after a long drought (etc etc etc).  This was the first single released pre-album.  The single artwork was even in the style of the unique Frank Ocean.  Showing him sitting at a darkly lit arcade playing a racing video game.

3. Fertilizer

Already the second short/skit of the album.  It confused me to say the least.

4. Sierra Leone

(vimeo link sorry)

I love the eerie sound of this song.  How it talks about being alone but still being with someone.  And the random lyrics like “No I don’t live in Denver”.  Talking about babies out of wedlock and junk.  Its really just out of place but all sounds so great together.

5. Sweet Life

(apparently most his songs are pulled off of youtube and only on vimeo…)

The album goes from “Thinkin Bout You” to “Sierra Leone” and hops right into “Sweet Life”.  It just paints a picture of a rich life, a sweet life.   “So why see the world when you got the beach” is my favorite line. Even the beat us uppity and positive sounding.

6. Not Just Money

(This is a fan made video of the skit)

Another skit/short already.  You can hear cars driving by and a blinker going.  With a lady talking being happy or not being happy depending on the money you have.   She’s stressed out and angry when talking to the other person.

7. Super Rich Kids

This is one the songs with more rapping on it then singing.  Its basically what the title says its about.  Super rich kids fucking around doing dumb shit.  But then Frank Ocean falls into the song singing away the negatives of it.  Somehow the being filthy rich and left alone to my desires sounds bad during this song.  Fake money and fake friends.  Too much money and nothing but time on his hands.  Each day a new way to destroy yourself.

8. Pilot Jones

Talks about being in love with someone with an addiction and how he constantly gives into them because he needs there touch.  A lot of these songs are about so many different things. I mean its called “Pilot Jones” and ends with an airplane flying by but its not even about fucking airplanes.

9. Crack Rock

This is by far one of my favorite songs off the album just because of how offbeat and crazy it sounds.  The music is all over the play in comparative to the rest of the album.  It goes from euphemisms about drugs to straight talking about crack rocks. It just an addict and drugs.  The mental demands of drug and how they break you.  I love every second of this song.

10. Pyramids

This is the longest song on the album (9:52).  Its mostly instrumental but it sets up lyrics about being in love with a stripper. I always felt it was at least. The single art showed a hooker or stripper in the style of a strip club.  I always thought The Pyramid was the name of said strip club.  But it mostly talks in the style of pyramids and her name is Cleopatra.  I remember stealing this song when it leaked before its release.  That’s how much I love this song.

11. Lost

Another upbeat song.  Talks about someone being in love with someone they shouldn’t.  How there lost because of the love.  Avoiding the life they need to be living because of it.  Lost in the heat of love.  He uses words you don’t hear when singing about this stuff. Its beautiful in the way its creative.  Its unheard.  Its brand new.  Its a rare story that everyone should hear.

12. White

(Apparently the internet doesn’t have a video for this because he did a song with the same name on an Odd Future tape a long time ago.)

Another short skit/short. A simple little beat is just playing, its very calming. (I hate writing music writes ups but love it.  I always get too excited and write like shit). That all it is.

13. Monks

I LOVE THIS SONG.  The lyrics are in the style of monks but still talks about a girl being on her own tour like he is.  Then it skips into them escaping together away from her father’s army.  Starts with Monks, goes to a girl partying on her own tour, then her staying with him and them escaping her father’s army.  This song is all over the place.

Favorite lyrics are

We made it safely
Even with your father’s army trailing us
We escaped him
Even with his archer’s bows at our backs

What a great escape
But theres a long way still in fact
We’re lost in a jungle underneath these clouds

There’s a monsoon that never ends
A coke white tiger woke us from our slumber
To guide and protect us til the end

(Lyrics courtesy of lyrics genius thing)

14. Bad Religion

I also fucking love this song.  Another slow eerie sounding song.  It talks about being in a taxi and needing get away from his problems.  More importantly this song is about unrequited love and likens it to a one man cult.  His voice sounds horribly pained while singing about it and its so beautiful.

15. Pink Matter

This is the song with the Andre 3000 feature (Outkast, yo).  So many different things going on in this song.  To a woman doing work for him, to her him falling into her pink matter.  Then Andre 3000 talks about her being gone and then making her do all the crazy things for him to see her break.  Its all over the place in the greatest way.

16. Forrest Gump

I always felt like Forrest Gump and Bad Religion went together.  The song literally starts with Frank Ocean talking about how Forrest Gump is running on his mind.   Its a very passionate song.  It gets really smooth at the end.

17. End

Half skit half song.  A little mashup of Frank singing and some other voices in the background.  Fading in and out over each other.

Conclusion:

Classic album.  I really look forward to his next album coming out in July.  And I bet half these videos I added don’t work.

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Horrible Writing

I want to goto concerts

I want to visit friends

I want to share greasy pizza with people

Have arguments between coffee and ice cream

I’m actually enjoying my day

Whatever

What do I want to be when I grow up? That is kind of an odd question because I’m kind of already grown up

I still want to be a writer (Even though I started almost every sentence with “I”)

God, being a music critic would be amazing

I always thought being a band manager would be super cliche

I’ve often been told to be a lawyer (Not sure if that’s been an insult or compliment most my life)

I wonder what’s next for me professionally

I’ve really separated my dreams (writing) from my career (business crap) and its working so far

I miss writing about music and moves though

I miss simple writing

I miss having the time to waste time

I’m going to do the super belated write up on the last Frank Ocean album

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